


20 Hours

by TenSpencerRiedPlease



Series: YouTube AU [7]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Fluff and Crack, M/M, YouTube, idk bois just more 'o this shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-16 21:24:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16502966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenSpencerRiedPlease/pseuds/TenSpencerRiedPlease
Summary: “I had a dream we shared a brain cell,” Peter says and Tony frowns. “You know, like the Fates from Hercules,” he adds like that clears anything up.It doesn’t. “Um. What happened?” he asks figuring Stephen decided on this as a subject for their opening as a reason. He already looks amused so he’s probably guessed right.





	20 Hours

“I had a dream we shared a brain cell,” Peter says and Tony frowns. “You know, like the Fates from Hercules,” he adds like that clears anything up.

It doesn’t. “Um. What happened?” he asks figuring Stephen decided on this as a subject for their opening as a reason. He already looks amused so he’s probably guessed right.

“Okay. So like, Stephen kept stealing the brain cell because he was failing at being a surgeon without the brain cell, and you kept stealing the brain cell, and I just wanted to write coherent movies but then you locked yourself in your lab and without the brain cell we weren’t smart enough to break in. Which is dumb because we aren’t smart enough to do that now and we have _many_  brain cells,” he says more to himself than Tony.

“What the fuck, Peter?” Tony says for lack of something better.

“Tell him how it ended,” Stephen says, laughing. Odd, considering he doesn’t usually entertain Peter’s weird dreams.

Peter sighs. “Okay, so we needed the brain cell, right? So somehow, with no brain cell, we came up with the idea of suing you for custody of the brain cell. I don’t even know how we won but Stephen got the brain cell first and won a Nobel Prize when he got the brain cell back.”

Stephen starts laughing harder, “we sued you for a brain cell,” he says, much more amused by this than Tony.

*

“What’s today’s topic?” Tony asks Peter because he usually knows these things. When he shrugs he knows this is going to be disaster.

“Can we please find me a hobby? I don’t know what to do with twenty extra hours in my week,” Stephen says, giving them both a semi desperate look.

Tony gives him a _look_  because really? “Read a damn book, Stephen. We’re not helping you fill your space.”

“Nap,” Peter tells him. “That’s what I do.”

Stephen squints, “you nap at work. We’ve all seen the pictures of you and like five actors sleeping in a next made of set props on the internet,” he says. “Your advice is garbage.”

Tony’s eyebrows draw together in confusion, “wait, why do you have twenty extra hours in your week?” he asks.

Stephen lets out an annoyed huff that tells Tony what he’s about to say is probably perfectly reasonable because Stephen only seems to get pissed off at perfectly reasonable things at work. “Well _some_  people keep killing their patients so now we can’t work more than eighty hours a week but that’s because _some_  people shouldn’t be doctors,” he says, arms folded over his chest.

Peter frowns, “dude, that’s probably a good thing. Probably definitely a good thing. Also why do I feel like you’re salty at one person in particular?”

“He got fired, the problem was _solved_!” Stephen says, irritated.

“I still feel like an eighty hour work week is something you should be happy about because you basically live at the hospital. Even doctors need time off,” Tony points out. And he falls asleep there a lot too, which actually does leave him living there until his boss kicks him out. Usually on Wednesdays, for some reason.

“I _like_  my job!” Stephen mumbles, glaring straight ahead.

“So do I but fuck a work week like yours, I’d kill myself,” Peter says and Tony’s not entirely sure he’s joking. Though he supposes he shouldn’t complain when he works similar hours to Stephen and hasn’t taken a vacation in over two years. Closest he’s come is visiting Peter on set when they happen to be in the same city. Still, Stephen could use a break even if he’s forced into it by work regulations.

“That’s because you’re lazy,” Stephen says and Tony smacks him.

“Don’t be rude!” he says at the same time Peter says, “yeah,” agreeably. Tony gives Peter a look because _hello_ , he was trying to defend him.

“What? I _am_  lazy, I’ll admit it.” Stephen gives Tony a smug look and he rolls his eyes.

“I hope your hours get cut,” he mumbles and Stephen makes a scandalized noise of offense.

Peter looks between the two of them for a moment and shakes his head, “yeah, so I got commissioned to write a romcom but I don’t know how to write straight people so it sucks so far. Seriously, you guys should read the notes I got back from my first draft that everyone could see the exact moment where I gave up in. Nebula asked if I’ve ever met a straight person before and Rocket laughed so hard he got diarrhea.”

Stephen frowns, “that’s not-”

“How are straight people hard to write?” Tony asks, heading off whatever the hell useless shit facts Stephen is about to spew.

“Look, all I know about straight people is what I know-” he starts and Stephen cuts him off with loud clapping.

“So eloquent! Oscar worthy!” he says sarcastically.

That earns him an eye rolls from Peter. “-And what I know is Texan straight people. And not to stereotype because I’ve met some lovely Texan straight people but they’re all the fucking devil.” Tony can’t help but start laughing though he has also met some lovely straight people from Texas, in their defense.

Stephen considers talking, frowning a little before sighing and sinking into his seat. “At least they aren’t from Alabama,” he says.

“You know what, Missouri is the worst state,” Tony says and Peter gives him an offended look.

“Don’t talk shit about my home state! New Yorkers are all a bunch of egotistical dicks who have a complex for congratulating themselves for living in New York like that’s a fucking accomplishment,” he says, folding his arms across his chest.

“I mean, if you’re working a minimum wage job it kind of is,” Tony points out. For funnies he gave himself a three thousand dollar a month living budget and looked up rent costs only to discover he’d have to live in an actual shoe box to make that budget work.

“Well okay whatever, you know what I meant. Anyways so like the notes are like ‘these characters are the worst people ever I hope they die’ and like... I don’t know how to fix that so I sent back an email and was like look. Del Toro proved that people will absolutely watch a movie about fucking monsters. I can do that.”

Stephen looks pained and Tony sighs. “That’s never going to fly,” he says and Peter shrugs.

“I already got told no but I do what I want and the studios can lick my left nut. Also I don’t know how to write straight people so I don’t know why they came to me.”

“Because the last two movies you did were romance oriented and both were smash hit successes,” Stephen points out. “Even I liked them and I’d rather rip my own spine out than watch a romcom usually.”

Honestly Tony doesn’t doubt that and from the look on Peter’s face he doesn’t either. “Uh, thanks I think. But those were gay and I know the gays, I love the gays, I’m one of the gays. Well, pansexual but what the fuck ever. Anyways, so now I have to figure out how not to write shitty Texan heterosexuals that probably aren’t actual monsters,” Peter says.

Stephen pats Peter’s knee. “Good luck.”

*

“Aww, you look adorable,” Peter says and Tony tries his best to shield his face. Just because Stephen was right about him needing glasses doesn’t mean he needs to expose his Revenge of the Nerds looking ass to the whole damn planet. He should have worn his damn contacts but they bother his eyes after awhile. “Stop hiding your face, you look cute with glasses,” Peter says, trying to pry his hand away from Tony’s face so he can film him and then expose him to the world.

He tries valiantly to escape but it goes badly because he’s in a chair with wheels and Peter decides the best way to win this fight is to distract him by dragging him around. Which works because Tony has things to do and he tries scrambling back to his desk both to escape Peter and also to try and do enough paperwork that Pepper stops eating his ass through professional but scathing emails. He’s genuinely impressed with her ability to write ‘fuck you’ in so many professional sounding ways.

For a moment he manages to break free, standing for a moment before Stephen appears out of a _vent_  above them grinning. “Hey,” he says casually, resulting in a shriek from Tony and Peter whipping the camera at him full speed.

*

Stephen looks so unimpressed and okay so Peter can’t _blame_  him for that, he did whip a camera at his face and give him a pretty good shiner but also he can’t be helped for what he does frightened. He tries to reach out to Stephen but he gets a glare so vicious its a wonder he doesn’t fall over dead. “I’m _so_  sorry,” he says, mostly meaning it.

Instead of responding like a normal human Stephen glares straight ahead, back ramrod straight. “I’m not speaking to you,” he says.

“Just stop speaking to him back, he’ll come whining for attention in like five seconds, we’ve done this like five billion times,” Tony points out. “Also if you drank all the coffee getting up at ass o’clock in the morning because you have some script to work on I’m not going to be happy.”

Peter hands Tony a mug of coffee he set aside for the express purpose of not pissing him off. He’s already pissed off enough partners for this week and he couldn’t even help the Stephen thing, that was just his first instinct. Tony happily takes the mug, grinning to himself. “Stephen, its not like he planned throwing a camera at you,” he says as he sits. Stephen gives him a look of betrayal but Tony rolls his eyes. “You had to think one of us would react badly, neither of us do well with spooks,” he points out.

True, but Tony more than Peter. Peter has watched his fair share of horror- it’s become something of a requirement working in his field so he’s familiar enough with conventions to know how to handle them. Tony? Doesn’t matter how well he knows the template, there’s a lot of screaming. Stephen makes an offended noise, “he’s a total coward, I thought he’d run, not throw a camera at me. And you’re the least likely person I know to survive a horror movie. I knew you’d just stand there screaming like a ninny.”

Well, that’s his fault for thinking Peter wouldn’t throw stuff. “Did you like... forget that I lived with people who threatened to _eat_  me regularly? I learned to throw things when frightened. Also you know, good way to evade unexpected cops busting in your door.”

Tony snorts, “its his criminal past that did you in. Come on honey, you scared the hell out of the poor guy. Its not his fault he reacted like people who are scared do,” he points out.

“There was no need to stick it on our YouTube channel,” Stephen mumbles and Tony rolls his eyes again.

“If it were Peter you’d make seven hundred different different memes out of it and laugh for the next fifty years- lets not act like you’d do anything different,” Tony tells him.

Stephen still sulks so Peter sighs. “Okay. So hypothetically if you wanted to get the cops to leave you alone in an interrogation what would you do?” he asks. He knows what he’d do but that’s not helpful. He can’t just write his own actions in there. Tony frowns at the question but Stephen, apparently breaking his vow of silence, “I would talk so much about so many meaningless things that they would beg me to exercise my right to remain silent and then I would do so and make them regret their choice to ever tell me to shut up,” Stephen says.

Tony considers this for a moment and starts laughing. “You’d annoy the cops into backing off. That’s so you,” he says, shaking his head.

Peter considers this for a moment before nodding. “That’s true, if Stephen had a superpower it _would_  be being so inconvenient to his villain that they just gave up and did what he wanted.”

Stephen looks _way_  too offended by this basic fact of his existence.

**Author's Note:**

> [My writing Tumblr](https://tenspencerriedplease.tumblr.com/)


End file.
